Peace

......is what we are needing right now. The past few days have been extremely difficult. Madeline's screaming sessions have turned into 24 hour screaming fits. Which means, absolutely no sleep. We can get her to calm down if we hold her, but I'm trying to figure out if she's screaming just to scream or if it's because she wants to be held. And, we can't hold her 24 hours per day, plus, I don't want her screaming to be held...I don't know, I'm at a loss. I'm just exhausted.

"Sleep when the baby sleeps" can go out the window. She's gotta be exhausted, too, since she might be sleeping 6 hours in a 24 hour period. Every time I try to nap, she starts screaming again. It's like she knows I want sleep and she spoiling it for me on purpose. Of course, I'm kidding, but that's what it feels like right now..lol.

Mornings and evenings have also proven to be difficult because of all the basic things that need to get done like cooking, eating, bathing, feeding Madeline, pumping, etc. Some are better than others depending on how the day goes. If I didn't get any sleep the night before, by the time 4pm hits, I am so tired and hit a wall of exhaustion.

I really don't know how working moms go back to work 4-6 weeks after delivery. I think I'd go insane or have a nervous breakdown. Seriously.

Breastfeeding is so challenging, too. It's just so darn time consuming. I completely understand why some mothers choose formula feeding over breastfeeding. It's 100x easier. In the morning, I've been giving Madeline a bottle of my pumped milk to save a little time, but it's not always a time saver. I'm going to keep pushing through. My goal is to breastfeed for a minimum of 3 months, max of 6, but I'm hoping I can stockpile some pumped milk so it can go longer.

Speaking of breast vs. formula feeding..something odd I came across while pregnant. Everyone always asked if I would be breastfeeding or formula feeding. This is such a personal question. I just find it odd that most people think that it's an appropriate to ask. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't care if close family/friends ask (I don't mind at all), but I would have random people ask me..some that I hadn't even met before. And, it was always the first question. I guess it's just not something I ever thought to ask someone before. I just find it bizarre.

Each day has flown by. Most days I don't even know what day it is. Tommy goes back to work this week, but he's off tomorrow and works from home on Tuesday/Wednesday. That being said, Thursday and Friday should be interesting for me. But, at least he has a 3 day weekend so I kinda get a small test run before having to go a full week by myself.

For a weight loss update, I've lost another 3lbs since my last post. I'm 6.5 lbs away from my goal weight. I also went ahead and pre-ordered Tracy Anderson's Post Natal Workout (available Sept. 4) and Tracy Anderson's Cardio Dance (available Oct. 2) to help get toned again. I would like to start walking this week, but I'm still pretty sore...not sure if I'll be able to do it just yet. I might give it a trial run this evening if I find the time for a brief 20 minutes.




Of course, I can't blog without adding photos of Madeline. I'm trying to take photos daily, but it's hard with the way things are going right now. I know eventually things will calm down (I pray), but right now is such a challenge.  Here are a few photos I took of her the other day:

I'm really hoping that tonight goes much better for us. We shall see!